Where have I been?

I'm sorry, I have been completely out of it for over a month now as my last entry was Dec 9th.
Needless to say, we have been busy with friends visiting, trips to Seattle and Pennsylvania and squeezing in last minute visits and trips before heading back to work a week from Monday (Feb 4th).
I wish I could post some photos that I have of Cooper (now four and a half months old), but Kevin has reformated our hard drive or something and I can't find Picasa which is the program I use to edit and sort my photos...I will work on getting that going asap as I have heard a few comments that my blog does not have enough photos, and I agree.
Well, I hope everyone had a great holiday and everyone is settling into 2008. I heard a statistic that said January 21 or 22, I can't remember exactly is the "most depressing day of the year"...because that is the day we typically receive all our bills from the holidays and the high from seeing family and friends has worn off and, like here in the bay area, we are dealing with rain and cold weather...boo hoo.
We had a busy holiday season, and it is now official, Cooper has met everyone in his immediate family...his cousin and Aunt and Uncle in Seattle, his cousins and Aunt and Uncle in Salinas CA, his cousins and Aunt and Uncle(s) in NY and he finally met his Grandfather in PA.
We flew to PA last week for a week and had a great time. It snowed and we had some really cold days, but dad was kind enough and allowed us to turn up the heat so we didn't freeze.
Cecilia, Chris and the kids along with Joel came down for the weekend and we had fun visiting, playing Apples to Apples and catching up.
Cooper did great on the plane, but his re-entry into PST has been a bitch. Just today, a full three days after arriving home, does he seem to be back to himself.
I've been working hard this week on getting his nap schedule documented so that the days Kevin and our nanny, Violeta, watch him they can be consistant and try and put him down at about the same time everyday. We have been having a hard time the last month or so as he began waking up often in the night to feed.
I had been indulging him because I thought he was going through a growth spurt..but it has been four weeks now, and I don't think growth spurts last that long.
Last night Kevin slept on the couch so I could work with Cooper in the middle of the night to ween him off of some of his late night feedings, it was not easy. He was up at one point around 3a.m. for about an hour and a half, and he was not happy.
BUT, instead of feeding him about four or five bottles between the time he went to sleep (6 pm) to the time he woke up (7 am), he only drank three. I'm looking to get him to sleep longer stretches as I know he is capable, since he was sleeping very well at three months.
Now he can wake up within an hour or an hour and a half from the last time he ate...and that just ain't good.
So, we will try again tonight and see how we do.
Okay, that is the update, whether you wanted to know it or not!
More photos to come, PROMISE!!

Tipping the scales

An acquaintance of mine told me this past weekend that the scales begin to tip with your newborn. She says you may feel, and I do, that you are just giving and giving to this little one and not getting too much back, but eventually, as they get older and more interactive with you, you begin to receive more than you are giving.
I feel like the scale has begun to tip today.
It's raining and Cooper and I are stuck inside. I have been watch him sleep so soundly and I feel and overwhelming wave of love. It's like nothing I have ever felt.
I kept thinking something was wrong because I had read and heard of all these woman who, upon laying eyes on their newborn are instantly connected with them. I did not feel that way I'm sorry to say. In fact, it is still surreal that we have a child. Also, for me, those first few weeks were scary, and exhausting and just otherworldly, I just did not seem to connect with Cooper in the way that I had heard and read.
But today, something feels like it has changed. He is now 11 weeks old, we have spent just about every second of every day together of those 11 weeks and I am just now feeling, or allowing myself to relax enough to feel the love that is there.
He is beautiful and wonderful. As my good friend Hammer would say, "I'm quite smitten with this little boy".

How to take a walk

Cooper and I try and get out of the house at least every other day for a walk of some sort. I load him up in the Ergo (a type of baby carrier) and we head off. Some criteria for the walk:

• Has to be a nice day
• Somewhere that is perceived as safe (in my neighborhood I would head toward the hills).
• He has to be all juiced up on milk or formula
• The route has to have an easy out in case he freaks out or blows out his diaper.

Once we have all this in place we head off.
He typically falls asleep and if I don't make a phone call to catch up with someone, I do the following:

• Say hello to everyone I pass, surprisingly most folks do not reciprocate.
• Pet as many kittys as possible. We have our favorites that come out to see us on certain routes. I got this from my friend Rachel.
• Check out everyones houses, pretend I live there, make up stories about the people that do (I got this from my mom!!)

Today we did a modified loop, but I did hoof it up Oakland Ave which is a killer hill. Surprisingly we did not see any kittys, but we saw tons of folks working on their houses, dragging in xmas trees and putting up lights and wreaths.
We also saw a huge hawk that flew over us, it was pretty cool, maybe he was looking for a kitty too?
I'm sure I'm making this sound more complicated then it really is, bottom line, we get outside and get some fresh air. It's great.

A day at the park

Well, here they are, my friends and their babies. I can't believe we are these people, moms!
When did that happen? Seems like we were just booze swillin' 20 somethings yesterday, and now we are all rounding the corner to 40. (some of us are already there, wink, sj)
Unbelievable.
Yet, we are all still feeling unsettled and unsure if the bay area is the place for us.
I asked these guys today what it would take to make Oakland our permenant homes and it all came down to being able to afford a house with a yard in a decent neighborhood.
Believe it or not, even if you make a good living, you still cannot afford a home in the bay area. Unless you are willing to buy a major fixer upper, a very tiny two bedroom or live in a sketchy neighborhood somewhere in the heart of Oakland.
So as our conversation swirled around the places we have talked about moving (Portland, Seattle, Vermont!) I just felt a sense of sadness that we cannot raise our children here without serious sacrifice. If I had known 15 years ago that this was the place I was going to be in, facing a possible move after building a community and connections or moving into a "rough" neighborhood with no yard and leaky roof, I would have settled somewhere else.
But for now we raise our kids and play in the sunny parks and ignore that we may need to pack it all up and move someday in order to give our kids the life they deserve.

Day 75

Today is Coopers 75th day in this universe, it is my 13,616th day.
It's 1:20 pm pst, Cooper is sleeping next to me in his car seat, Tyrone (our cat) is asleep on top of the green cabinet in the dining room and I have been up since 5:30 a.m.
I'm feeling a bit sick, like I have a cold, and I'm worried Cooper will catch it, although I have no idea what to do if he does.
How do I take his temperature? What temperature is too high? What do I do if he has a temperature? What can I give him? Will he have a sore throat too? Will he feel achy like I do?
I don't think it's fair that he should have a cold on this 75th day so I'm doing all I can to combat my cold so he can continue to only worry about when he is going to eat and sleep.
My goal is to get out of the house each day, some days it's really easy, like yesterday for instance, and other days, like today, it's like the front door is a huge wall and I have to muster up the energy to get over it.
I try and remember I will never get this time back with him and want to take full advantage of each day. Before I know it I will be back behind my desk at work wondering what he is doing and how he is doing. And unless something changes (win the lottery maybe?), I will be doing that for the next 20/30 years. So each day is really precious, even when I feel like my feet are in quicksand.

Reinspired

Well, I have been thinking about doing a blog about our/my days with Cooper and it just slipped to the wayside, until today, when I received an invitation via email to check out Dawn's blog http://aurorasruminations.blogspot.com/.
This made me think if Dawn could do this with a newborn AND a two year old, I really had no excuse.
I have four months off with Cooper (two are already gone) and my days are like none I've ever had, so writing/blogging seemed like a good place to capture all the feelings, emotions and daily excitement and boredom that is new parenthood.
Now, whether or not anyone wants to read this or not is another story, but I thought I would put it out there and let people know they can catch a glimpse of what is going on over here at 4275 Howe anytime they want, especially if I haven't been able to call them back!